There are times when you feel life just knocks you over. You thought you were doing OK and then something happens and the wind is knocked out of your sails! My first reaction is usually to get mad – with myself, with God, with my husband, boss… anyone that I can ‘blame’ for what is happening. It happened again this week and I, unfortunately, reacted predictably! But….. God was trying to teach me a lesson! In the midst of my freak out – I heard the scripture –Trust in the Lord with your whole heart and lean not on your own understanding! Proverbs 3:5
It was all I had. So I took these words and clung on to them. Every time that the enemy tried to whisper lies to me, I told him, ‘I am trusting in the Lord and not leaning on my own understanding!’ Nothing changed immediately, but early the next morning God began to speak to me…. “Why was I so depressed and angry and irritated? Why was I snapping at my kids and ignoring my husband and generally being very miserable to be around? What kind of testimony is that? Unbelievers face the same things that you are experiencing and one expects them to react in this manner. But you are meant to be one who knows God – the King of the Universe! You are meant to be a light to the nations. People should look at you and wonder how you stay calm, peaceful, loving and joyful in the midst of very trying circumstances. Right now – no one is envious of your God. Why? Because you behave exactly the same as the unbelievers.”
WOW! I was convicted! God was gently pointing out how pathetic I was! I immediately began to repent. As I started repenting, I remembered the verse in Romans 14:17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. God has sent us the Holy Spirit, the Helper, so that He can help us to find peace and joy in every situation. In the Kingdom of God, it is not that there are no trials and tribulations… it is about the fact that we have the Holy Spirit who will help us to remain in right standing with God and have peace and joy no matter what happens. It is not about doing all the right things and saying the rights things – it is about laying hold of Holy Spirit and allowing Him to comfort us and then help us. We have help that unbelievers do not have. We should make use of it and be shining lights in a dark and depressed world. We should not be reacting the same as the rest of the world.
As members of God’s family, citizens of the Kingdom of Heaven – we should have a different testimony. We should look, sound and BE different. 1 Peter 2:9 (Message Bible)
But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted!
God – please help me to have a different testimony. I repent for not turning to the Holy Spirit for comfort and help when I have been in trouble. I repent for just giving up and getting angry. I repent for choosing to rely on my own ways. Today, I am turning back to You. I am setting my eyes on You, my heart is steadfastly focussed on You. I choose to walk with Holy Spirit in righteousness, peace and joy!