The Return Of The Remnant
10-10-2016 12:00:00 AM
7 – 9 October 2016
By Pierre & Tersia Goosen
My broken childhood left me with no understanding of the love of a father, and at the start of the weekend I had a vague idea of the love that God has for me. Clearly this was head knowledge with very little heart knowledge. However, the overwhelming message over the weekend for me was that God has a vicious love for me, and although I don’t deserve it, He still chose me. Wow! What God desperately wants in return is my unwavering love for Him. The battleground is clearly in my mind, my doubt, my lack of association to this love. My challenge is this, “am I going to run or am I going to respond”? I choose to respond. I choose to study God’s word, to get involved, to be the light to this dark world. The weekend has not only clarified my understanding of this love and my responsibility to respond to God’s love, but it has ignited a desire to heed to His calling on my life.
For me this weekend was very deep. I find it uncomfortable to speak about, and I am not sure how to put my inner ‘feelings’ on paper.
People that say to me “love you” or end a conversation with “love you” – well, that doesn’t mean much to me. The people that said these words and used similar phrases were not there when I needed them most. So it is very hard for me to accept these words. This weekend, I realised that I have allowed my experiences with people to affect my walk with Abba Father, and it has created a problem in me to return His love. Looking back at my life, I know that from before my birth (when I was in my mother’s womb) Father God has had His hand on my life and that He loves me. I know that I have to make a mind-shift, and this weekend something started to change in me.
In a way it is easier to speak about God’s mercy and grace rather than His love, however after the weekend I have a deeper level of understanding of His obsessive, relentless, vicious love for me. The vision that God’s heart has a hole for each one of us and that only I can fit into “the unique hole in His heart He has for me”, is a picture that affected me deeply. We so easily say “God loves you” but I have not really understood the depth of these words until this weekend. Apostle said that God gave us a capacity to receive His love and anything that doesn’t help me to love God more is useless! I have come to a place where I know I have to make myself vulnerable (‘”with open arms”) and uncomfortable to respond to His love for me. My desire is to respond more consistently to Abba Father rather than through highs and lows. To love Him, to have a deeper intimate relationship with Him, to love and obey His word, to bring fruitfulness and be a fragrance for Him that brings life to those around me, and to pray for all people continuously.
Apostle Natasha, we want to thank you for giving us a deeper understanding of the Love of God for us – and for challenging us in our response to His love.
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